Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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