yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
