Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
