you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
