Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
