this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
