I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And then he peed in my hair
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