He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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