Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
