Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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