I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
