Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
