Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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