Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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