So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
