why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
bring money and cleavage
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
