I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
