we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
