Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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