Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
