also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
