"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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