she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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