Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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