i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
