i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
