That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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