Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
