She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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