She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
