Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
