Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
