I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
