O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
