One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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