No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
