it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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