let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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