Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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