You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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