Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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