He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
