Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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