I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
