I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
