It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
