You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
