idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
