What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
