Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
