so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
